When experts disagree: conflicting advice from priests

I am quite certain that many of us get frustrated when we are in need of expert advice and we get conflicting information from the experts.

Perhaps the most obvious and recent example of this is the Coronavirus crisis. Some medical experts say wear a mask, others say it doesn't really do anything, some say that the virus lives on surfaces and others say it doesn't. Some say that asymptomatic people are contagious and others say otherwise. It can be quite frustrating!

But this article isn't about the coronavirus or the well intentioned opinions of our medical experts who are doing their very best to help us navigate through this crisis.

Rather, my reflection here is about the same frustration that people have when they ask priests (as "spiritual experts") for advice about critical matters and they get conflicting advice from priests, especially in the areas of morality.

Going back to the analogy of the medical experts, I ask their advice about health related matters because I trust their expertise, their education and their experience, but also because I don't know anything about medicine and I need their help. My knowledge of health matters can be summed up in the idea that pizza and potato chips are bad for you and exercise and salads are good (advice that I should be better about following).

So when people whose knowledge of the faith is comparable to my knowledge of medicine approach priests for advice, one can easily see how frustrated people could get when they receive conflicting information. Now let me clarify, I am not talking about advice on prayer styles or other areas where there are acceptable options. I am talking about matters of faith and morals.

To be specific, I am talking about situations where priests tell people that hell and purgatory do not exist; I am referring to priests who do not give clear direction on moral issues, especially situations involving sin. Often time this questionable advice is given in the confessional, sadly.

There are Catholics who know their faith and know it well, but we need to be honest and humble about this, there are many Catholics who do not know their faith and they rely upon their priests to give them guidance that will help them in their relationship with our Lord and His Church - guidance that is rooted in the teaching of the Church and not their opinion.

It is heartbreaking for me as a priest when someone comes to me and says, "Father, you said this in your homily, in your social media post, or on your blog, but Father so and so said this, what am I to believe."

Here is where the faith is very different from medicine. The Deposit of Faith does not change, it is the faith that has been given to the Church by Christ himself, to His Apostles and their successors and safeguarded by the Holy Spirit who leads the Church. Medicine does change and improve with technology and scientific advancements and so when it comes to the faith, there is a clear reference to which we can point people, it is the Catechism of the Catholic Church, a book that covers what the Church believes and teaches.

So are what people to do?

When people receive contradictory advice from different priests, they should go to the Catechism to see what the truth is, and then make a decision for themselves: do they want to keep asking advice from a priest who would teach something contrary to what the Church teaches or not.

My advice to people in this situation is simple: seek out the priests who are faithful to what is found in the Catechism and stay close to them. They may be imperfect in many areas of their life, but at least they are trying to care for the souls of those entrusted to their care by giving them sound advice based on what the Church teaches and not their own opinion, which contradicts the Church they serve.

It is frustrating, I know...

Different emotions on Father's Day

As we approach Father's Day, I know that I am not alone in experiencing different feelings and emotions. Like myself, many have had complicated relationships with their dads.

There are many who are amazing fathers who have shown selfless love for their families; there are others who have fallen short of fulfilling their vocation. There are many who have great admiration for their fathers; there are others who have more challenging relationships. Regardless of your experience, we must all pray for the men who have been given the great responsibility of being a dad.

This past September, I faced the difficult task of preaching at my own father's funeral. The process of preparing that homily was actually a very healing exercise for me personally. Allow me to share that homily here:

"There are many things I wish were different about my father…

There are many things that I wish I could of changed…

I wish he would of made different decisions in his life

But there is nothing that any of us can do about the behavior of someone else,

certainly not after they have died.

I guess I just wish things were different.

But there is one thing that I would not change,

And that is the opportunity that my father had at the end of his life –

an opportunity to repent, to make amends,

to make peace for the wrong that he did in this life

after all, not everyone gets that opportunity

but I am grateful that he did, eternally grateful.

Think of the people who are taken suddenly,

those who had no chance to say goodbye, to say I love you, to say I’m sorry…

My father was told in early August that he had less than a year to live.

Ultimately, he only had about 6 weeks to prepare for his death…

but that was enough time –

it gave him the opportunity to think about his life and to make the final preparations before passing from this life into the next.

Today my father stands before God, before Jesus Christ

the Just Judge and our Merciful savior

today he will have to give an account for all that he did in this life,

the good and the bad, and so

regardless of whatever thoughts we might have about my father

we are reminded that,

Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ ALONE is his judge-

A reality that I have had to remind myself, more than once.

Today we gather here in faith and hope,

And we beg the Lord to show mercy to Robert

That the Lord might have mercy on his soul

And forgive the sins that he committed in this life.

I chose the Gospel that we just heard for a very particular reason.

It is the story of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

He is innocent, but condemned to death

He accepts death willingly and freely

He does so to accept the punishment that each of us deserve for our sins

Jesus Christ stands in our place - the innocent for the guilty.

And as he is there hanging on the cross, our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God,

speaks some of his most powerful words:

In particular, I would like to focus on the conversation that Jesus had

with the two men that he is crucified with,

Two horrible criminals, thieves and murderers,

people who deserved the punishment that they were given.

Neither were religious people, they were worldly people,

men who thought only of the things of this world, of their own needs and desires,

One mocks Jesus – he says, if you are the Son of God, save yourself and us.

Even in the last moments of his life, he has no regard or respect for God, just himself.

The other criminal, Dismis, referred to by history as the “good thief”

seems to have a moment of conversion and repentance, he says,

“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

And we see the loving mercy of God shown to someone,

who one could argue, did not deserve it – Jesus says,

“today you will be with me in paradise.”

Jesus sees his repentant heart, and grants him forgiveness of his sins.

The good thief “stole heaven.”

He lived a horrible sinful life, but at the last moment he repents and asks for mercy, and he is given it.

To my dear family and friends,

this story says more about Jesus Christ, than it does about the good thief,

and today’s funeral mass says more Jesus Christ than it does about my father.

I truly don’t know what was on my father’s heart,

I don’t know about the conversations that he had with our Lord before he died…

I don’t know about any of the conversations that he had with people before he died,

but I do know that before he died,

my father was able to ask for forgiveness and make peace

with my mother, my brother and myself.

A few days before he died, I was sitting alone with him and he asked,

“Do you think that hell really exists?”

I knew what he was getting at,

and there clearly could have been the temptation to say something more consoling

or to change the subject, but in that moment,

as both a son and a priest,

I had to give the painful but honest answer,

“Yes, dad, hell does exist.”

The answer clearly frightened him… and he laid their weeping,

but after allowing that reality to sink in for a few moments,

searching and praying for the right words to say,

I followed it by reminding him that he still had time to repent, like the good thief.

I asked if he wanted me to get him a priest to hear his confession.

To my surprise, and to be quite honest, to my discomfort,

he said, you’re a priest, please hear my confession.

At that moment, I recalled the day, back in 1999,

when I heard a homily during my first semester of college

that challenged us to pray earnestly for the conversion

of those who are away from Christ and his Church.

Every day, for the last 20 years, almost to the day,

I have prayed for my father’s conversion, that he would come to Jesus.

20 long years of praying for his conversion,

many times wanting to give up because it seemed so hopeless and impossible.

Being able to hear my father’s first confession in over 40 years

and to absolve my father from his sins,

was one of the most beautiful moments of my priesthood.

Before he died, he was able to receive Holy Communion,

to receive the anointing and the apostolic pardon.

He might not have become a devout practicing catholic as I had hoped and prayed,

but he did meet God with a clear conscience.

Never doubt the power of prayer,

and never give up on praying for those who are away from the Lord.

There are many things I would have changed about my father’s life,

but the one thing I would not have changed was that

the Lord Jesus gave him this opportunity to “steal heaven.”

We trust that the Lord is merciful,

but we also know that hell is real, that heaven is not a given,

as we are so often lead to believe,

and so I make an appeal to you to continue to pray for the soul of my father.

The greatest thing that can be done for him, and for me and my family, is to pray for his soul.

Today at the end of his life, his family brings him to the Church for the very last time,

and we do so, I hope with profound faith, that Jesus Christ is a loving and merciful savior.

Today, as his family, regardless of any feelings, emotions, and hurts that we may have,

and as justifiable as they are, let us pray the words of the good thief on my father’s behalf – Jesus, remember Robert when you come into your kingdom!"

Happy Father's Day Dad!

The Eucharist and Coronavirus: Could you imagine?

Could you imagine?

No, I am not referring to the popular song! But could you imagine if priests and bishops had as much concern and precision in dealing with the Sacred Mystery of the Eucharist as they do the safety directives for social distancing?

As we prepare to celebrate the Solemnity of Corpus Christi, the Church once again gives us the opportunity to reflect upon the Source and the Summit of the Christian life - the Most Holy Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. Interesting enough, the feast is born out of a time when people had lost a sense of Eucharistic amazement and treated Holy Communion casually and without any reverence. In particular, a priest who had lost his faith in the fact that bread and wine actually become the Body and Blood of our Lord at each Mass, experienced one of the great Eucharistic miracles; read about it HERE. The Church instituted the Feast of Corpus Christi around the same time so that each year we could reflect upon and celebrate this great mystery of our faith, and never return to such a causal and irreverent approach to the Holy Mass.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as Churches have begun to reopen and directives and guidelines have been put into place for the safety of parishioners and the cleaning of our Churches. While I certainly understand and abide by all of the directives, I have found myself scratching my head in amazement with how some priests and bishops have paid tremendous detail to the cleaning of churches and worried about invisible droplets caused from people singing. I am even more amazed... maybe shocked is a better word, at some of the ways in which some clergy have come up with to distribute our Lord in Holy Communion. Plexiglass walls, dropping the Sacred Host and mandating that people walk out the door immediately upon receiving make one question what we truly believe about the Eucharist.

It is becoming more and more clear to me why so many Catholics no longer believe in the True Presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist - because the dignity of the Sacrament and reverence for it has been lost by those entrusted to be its sacred custodians. And so I will ask again, "Could you imagine if priests and bishops had as much concern and precision in dealing with the Sacred Mystery of the Eucharist as they do the safety directives for social distancing?"

When the report was released last year that 70% of Catholics do not believe in the True Presence, many bishops and priests asked, "what can we do to respond to this?" A year has passed and little to nothing has been done. But in response to the directives for social distancing, there have been overwhelming efforts to ensure that we are following every directive to the finest detail. Could you imagine if we had the same effort to restore belief in the Most Blessed Sacrament?

As we celebrate the Solemnity of Corpus Christi this weekend, I encourage the lay faithful to demand of their spiritual leaders, their pastors and their bishops, greater efforts to promote belief in and devotion to the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, maybe even just half the effort that has gone into social distancing guidelines. Could you imagine?